Lately I've been feeling rather dull and fake with God. Yeah I talk to Him but I never really get too personal. Of course I pray about serious stuff but when I do it's usually a quick and very unemotional prayer. "Dear God please help my friend Stephanie. You know what she's going through. Amen." In my heart I feel much more than what I actually present to God. I'm very impersonal in my prayer.
I am standing in a valley of fakeness. In the distance I see God and His mountain but never really feel Him close. I often find myself wondering why I feel so far away from God. I've been so dense recently that I only just realized it's because I'm not taking any steps closer to His mountain.
I'm stuck wanting to be with God and complaining that He doesn't feel close. I'm not doing anything but sitting in this valley and pulling up nearby grass patches out of boredom. Part of it is laziness. I'm comfortable where I'm sitting and don't want to get up, though I complain about being spiritually bothered all of the time. The other part of it, shameful to say is that sin is keeping me from seeing the way to His mountain. Like a thick fog, sins that I commit surround me, blinding me from God's beautiful mountain.
The solution is simple. Get up and walk. Can't see the path? Ask God to give you a light for your path (Bible) and a mighty wind to clear the fog (forgiveness). *You* have to get up and walk though. Yes, climbing a mountain can be tough but God is there to help you when you get there. For now just get up and follow His lead. He knows how to put you back on top again. We must walk through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God.
